Editor’s Note: This article was written in January 2010 but its message continues to be relevant (or funny) today…..

I interrupt my regular post today to bring you a bit of humor.  This crossed my desk this morning and it was too good not to share….

As you know, after the recent earthquakes in Haiti, Pat Robertson declared on his television program that the country has been “cursed by one thing after another” since they “swore a pact to the devil.”  Robertson went on to describe how the pack came to be.  If you are interested, go Google it.  Already for me there is a lot to laugh at already….the ludicrous nature of Robertson’s comments themselves…the fact that Robertson continues to be on TV…..the fact that anyone even pays attention to what he says anymore….all pretty funny (even if tinged with a bit of disappointment that he gets headlines that could be better used for more positive things).

That said, the humor meter went up a few notches when Satan decided to reply to Robertson via a letter to the editor this week in the Minneapolis Star Tribune (in the words of Dave Barry, I’m not making this up, you can Google this too….the letter is making the rounds on the internet, to give credit where due–the Star Tribune attributes it to Lily Coyle of Minneapolis).

Here it is:

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Dear Pat Robertson,

I know that you know that all press is good press, so I appreciate the shout-out. And you make God look like a big mean bully who kicks people when they are down, so I’m all over that action.

But when you say that Haiti has made a pact with me, it is totally humiliating. I may be evil incarnate, but I’m no welcher. The way you put it, making a deal with me leaves folks desperate and impoverished. Sure, in the afterlife, but when I strike bargains with people, they first get something here on earth –glamour, beauty, talent, wealth, fame, glory, a golden fiddle.

Those Haitians have nothing, and I mean nothing. And that was before the earthquake. Haven’t you seen “Crossroads”? Or “Damn Yankees”? If I had a thing going with Haiti, there’d be lots of banks, skyscrapers, SUVs, exclusive night clubs, Botox — that kind of thing. An 80 percent poverty rate is so not my style. Nothing against it — I’m just saying: Not how I roll.

You’re doing great work, Pat, and I don’t want to clip your wings — just, come on, you’re making me look bad. And not the good kind of bad. Keep blaming God. That’s working. But leave me out of it, please. Or we may need to renegotiate your own contract.

Best,
Satan

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Tomorrow’s article will be entitled “Do you believe God exists?”   Depending upon how you answer that question, there are two  corollaries to it: “Who or what is God?” and “Do you believe Satan exists?”  Obviously we know what Pat thinks….

Mark

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Check out all of Mark Gilbert’s books—available at Amazon. Click here to visit his Author Page. This includes his recent one Our Spiritual Rights and Responsibilities. In this book, he offers what he suggests are the 5 basic rights we all possess by virtue of our being these spiritual beings on planet Earth — and our 2 responsibilities we all hold in relation to one another! Check it out!