None of us like to experience rejection — real or imagined.  Yet, we all have experienced it at some time in our lives.

One piece of wisdom that I’ve picked up along life’s journey is this – any experience that we label as negative while we are in the midst of it tends to be seen as less negative as we gain some time and distance from the events. In fact, I have come to see goodness and real gifts for my life growing out of some of my most painful incidents.

When I was a kid, I got rejected at times. I remember being one of the last kids picked for the kickball teams – how embarrassing! I remember the pain of giving that cute girl across the classroom a Valentine and not getting one in return. I remember looking out the window and seeing my friends playing and wondering why they hadn’t asked me.

As a teen, I remember my buddies and I sitting down one night in a room together and calling every girl we knew to ask her out for a date. Each of us got to experience rejection that night –big time! (But we also learned to overcome our fears of calling girls for dates—and there were a few “yes’s”!)

As an adult, rejections have come in the form of not being hired for a job, being passed over for a promotion, not being asked to participate in an important project, not being asked to a party and similar “tragedies”.

Higher understanding shows me that all these so-called rejections have given me gifts beyond my wildest dreams. I am stronger, wiser and better able to deal with adversity having had these occurrences. Moreover, each time I was “rejected” some greater good was revealed in my life – better jobs, more important projects and the like.  I know all of this, but I can still go in my mind to the feeling of being rebuffed when things don’t go exactly as I planned.

This happened recently. The events are really unimportant. No one actually did anything “to me”. What is key to realize is that what I labeled in my thoughts as “rejection” had no basis in our so-called reality. It was only a story I was telling myself. This is the tough thing to grasp, but it is true that what we sense as “rejection” is never really about the actions of others (even when objectively they may have rebuffed us)….this sense of rejection is only within our own thoughts!

The other day I wrote an article entitled Everything Is Spirit – the salient point being that everything around us is spirit (everything material and nonmaterial, including our thoughts), that we are connected to everything and that everything is there for our greatest unfoldment. If this is true – and I know it is – then is not this so-called “rejection” part of spirit as well and existing for my greatest good? Of course, the answer is yes.

That old sense of rejection is only in my head (to paraphrase and repurpose an old Bob Dylan song). It’s only as real as I make it. I can choose to see it differently.

There is no rejection. We are all born of the one Spirit and are always included within it. Nothing we can do can separate us from our source. Worldly experiences that appear in our limited thinking as some kind of personal rejection are simply a gift we are being given that offers us the opportunity to learn and grow to our highest possibilities. Let us all learn to release the sense of rejection and know it a deeper level that we are all one.


Mark Gilbert


Check out all of Mark Gilbert’s books—available at Amazon. Click here to visit his Author Page. This includes his recent one Our Spiritual Rights and Responsibilities. In this book, he offers what he suggests are the 5 basic rights we all possess by virtue of our being these spiritual beings on planet Earth — and our 2 responsibilities we all hold in relation to one another! Check it out!