Today we continue looking at some examples of beliefs that people hold that it might be time to reconsider.  Again, no judgment but simply offered as food for thought.  This time the focus is on relationships.

Do You See Yourself in Any of These Beliefs?

I love my spouse but they’ve got some habits that really get on my nerves.  I really love them but there are these few things I would really like to change about them. 

I spent all this time raising these kids, now they’re adults and they won’t listen to what I say.  They’ve got their own thoughts and beliefs about everything — raising kids, religion, what they think is the best job for them, where to live and so on.  I’ve tried everything to get them to change their minds and see things my way.  Sometimes it’s like I’m talking to a brick wall.  I know they must know how disappointed I am in them. 

I love my parents but I wish they would not meddle in all of my affairs.  I’m grown now and I have my own thoughts about how to do things.  If I try to tell them how I want to handle stuff, they either don’t listen or get mad. If I do what they say, then I’m unhappy.  I don’t do what they say, they get mad at me and I’m unhappy.   I can’t win.  

My boss is driving me crazy.  He makes impossible demands, giving me assignments where I have to change what I’m working on.  He’s never happy with the work product.  He shows favoritism to other employees.  I can’t seem to please him. 

I really want to be in a committed relationship with a loving partner.  Every time I find somebody that I think is the right one, things just don’t work out.  I know it’s not me because I showered them with my love, gave them everything they wanted, but they left. 

I just don’t seem to have any close friends in my life.  The people around me, I just don’t seem to have anything in common with.  I don’t feel like getting close to them.  I can’t seem to attract into my life friends who have the same interests as me.

If You Think the Problem Is Out There, That Thought Is the Real Problem

If you see yourself in any of the above scenarios, then here are some thoughts for you to consider… but they will only resonate with you if you are open to evolving your beliefs on relationships….

You can’t control other people, you can only control yourself.  Don’t try to control them. 

Other people have lived their own lives which have led them to their own beliefs.  It’s unrealistic to think that they are going to believe and act just as you do. 

Whenever you find yourself pointing at another person as the source of your problems, stop and consider what role your thoughts and beliefs may be playing in creating the situation.  Consider how you might change your thoughts about the relationship. 

If you want to attract love into your life, then love people — all people.  Be love. 

Avoid smothering people with your love.  If you truly love someone, then you allow them the freedom to be who they are called to be.  This includes loving them even if they choose not to be with you. 

Be who you need to be even if there are others in your life who want you to be different.  Understand where they’re coming from and love them even if they’re trying to control you.  If you let them, you will resent it and be unhappy and it will impact your relationship.  If you follow your heart and do what you’re called to do, although you may have to deal with their displeasure, you will ultimately be happier. 

If you want to attract friendships into your life, be a friend to everyone.  Be open to friendships that present themselves to you.

Be a connector.  When appropriate, introduce people you know who have something in common to each other.  Help others to make new friends. 

Look for ways to give and serve other people in all areas of your life. 

Be the love you want to see in the world.

Are there any of these suggestions that you agree with?  Disagree?  Do you have any other suggestions?  I’d love to hear!

Mark

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Check out all of Mark Gilbert’s books—available at Amazon. Click here to visit his Author Page. This includes his recent one Our Spiritual Rights and Responsibilities. In this book, he offers what he suggests are the 5 basic rights we all possess by virtue of our being these spiritual beings on planet Earth — and our 2 responsibilities we all hold in relation to one another! Check it out!