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Seek First To Understand, Then To Be Understood

May 24, 2010 //
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I hate messing up on life’s lessons that I think I’ve already learned.  The universe sure has a way of knocking cockiness out of you when you’re not looking.

Once again I got a 2 x 4 reminder as I popped in to my local library last week.  Outside the entrance is where a lot of those people with petitions like to try to catch you.  They’ve got their hook down to a nice sound bite that sounds reasonable.  Something along the lines of “would you like to sign a petition that ensures you continue to have the right to drive your car?”  Obviously, that’s not exactly what they were asking everyone the other day… but it’s always something that on the surface you agree.  You think to yourself “sure, that sounds reasonable” and you sign the petition and you’re on your way.

Of course after their short question designed to break my stride, I had to stop and ask a follow-up question.  I never sign a petition without making sure I know what it’s about.  Now there’s at least two ways you can ask your inquiry — one way is without judgment where you simply want to understand — the other way is where you are ready are in judgment about what they’ve said and your question is more about “proving them wrong”.  Unfortunately, I slipped right into judgment asking something along the lines of “why do we need a law to allow us to do something we can already do?”  Can’t you just hear my moral superiority dripping through those words?

After a few more back-and-forth comments that did nothing to connect us as human beings, I went on my way inside steaming over the encounter.  Immediately I regretted my approach to the interaction.

Do you ever bump into somebody who believes something different from you?  Duh.  Don’t we all?  How do you treat them?  Do you truly care to understand why they believe what they believe?  Or do you rush to judgment and immediately go into pushing your viewpoint?

Seems all too often these days we bypass seeking to understand the other person’s position.  Yes, we may be familiar with the debate around the subject at hand and think we’ve heard all the unconvincing reasons for their opinion.  Armed with this prior knowledge and our minds made up, we seek to save time by jumping over asking this person in front of us their reasoning and go right to espousing our wisdom.

Sure, Stephen Covey told us that one of the seven habits of highly effective people is to seek first to understand, then to be understood.  It sure seems like many of us (myself included) like to take a shortcut around this habit.

Yes, people believe differently from you.  Yes, you may already formed have an opinion on the issue at hand.  Yes, you may be a very busy person in this fast-paced world with no time to waste.  Yes, you may not be called to engage in a lengthy dialogue with every person who has a different viewpoint.

All of that may be true… but here are the lessons I learned once again even though I thought I knew them:

Always see the person in front of you who believes differently as someone worthy of your respect.

Always seek first to understand the other person and their reasoning.

And, if someone seeks to understand you first, still come back and seek to understand them too.

Humanity is always better served by each of us honoring and respecting one another and understanding our differences over our confronting one another in attempting to make ourselves “right” and the other person “wrong”.

Mark Gilbert

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Categories Consciousness, Featured Article, Uniting U.S.

Rand Paul: Pandering to Fear for Political Purposes?

May 20, 2010 //
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Regretfully, there’s a strong undercurrent of fear percolating in a vocal minority of Americans.  I don’t want to feed it, the media is already doing a good job of that, but I do want to acknowledge it so we can consciously make a higher choice.

The latest incident: Kentucky Senatorial candidate Rand Paul states that the Civil Right Act of 1964 was flawed in that it made it illegal for private businesses to discriminate on the basis of race.  When questioned yesterday on the Rachel Maddow show about his position, he tried to walk the line between saying he’s against discrimination but believing that a private business has the right to discriminate based on race.  He equated a restaurant owner having the freedom to choose to prevent guns in his restaurant with a restaurant owner denying service based on race.

Unlike the media pundits, I’m not going to claim I know what Rand Paul’s true beliefs are on this issue or his intent with his statements.  However, we’ve all seen that a politician who wants to get elected frequently tries to read the political tea leaves so as to position himself to appear favorable to the mood of the populace.  It certainly appears that Paul is doing this and it just might get him elected.

This event coupled with Arizona’s new immigration law and the so-called tea party people certainly points towards a lot of fear in parts of America.  Why is there so much fear?  Reasons put forth by others include: racial pushback against a black president, shifting demographics as whites move into the minority, the economic problems of the past few years, jobs moving to other countries, the never-ending wars, gay marriage and ecological disasters such as the ongoing oil spill in the Gulf.

I think we can all agree that Americans and all of humanity are in the midst of massive change.  Although change brings growth, it also brings fear.  One basic need we all have is for safety and security.  Meeting that need is threatened psychologically when we are moving from the known into the unknown.  A common response in facing the unknown is to retreat into clinging on to the old.

Much of the “take back my country” chants are driven by a psychological drive to retreat into the known of the past.  The political posturing of folks such as Paul are recognizing the motivations behind these chants and are using them for political advantage.

The question facing America is this: during this time of momentous change will our ultimate motivation be based on fear or on a higher purpose?  

As we look to the future of humanity, what is it that we really really want to see?

Do we want to retreat into the past where we felt safe?  A past where whites were the majority, Spanish wasn’t spoken here, businesses could discriminate on race, gas was cheap, legitimate relationships were only between a man and a woman, we could continue to use natural resources up faster than the rest of the world and so on?  If we are truly being honest, then we know that this past wasn’t truly that great for many segments of humanity.  Is going back to the past really in our collective best interest?

I don’t know about you, but I know that rather than retreating into the past, I would rather move forward into a better future where everyone is treated with dignity and respect.  I wish to live in a world where people are motivated by love rather than fear.  I wish to live in a world where we look beyond skin color and ethnicity and only see our common humanity.  I wish to live in a world where there is no need to build barriers between us because everyone everywhere has the opportunity to succeed.  I wish to live in a world where politicians no longer pander to our fears but rather inspire us to our highest possibilities.

Mark

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Categories Culture, Featured Article, Politics, Uniting U.S.

Lessons from the Oil Spill

May 3, 2010 //
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Today some personal commentary regarding the Gulf Coast oil spill with an evolutionary eye towards what lessons we can take from this event to move us to a positive future.  I recognize that we don’t realize yet just how catastrophic this disaster might end up being, but I don’t think it’s too soon to start thinking about what we can learn from it.

As of this writing, oil is still coming out of the hole in the ocean, surface efforts to contain the oil slick appear not to be working totally as oil is being detected in Louisiana marshlands, and BP says it will pay for all cleanup costs.  The federal government is overseeing BP’s efforts and President Obama has just toured the area.  News reports indicate that it may still be days before the leak is stopped and months before the well is totally capped.  Some dire predictions have come out regarding the environmental impact on the Gulf Coast, the economic impact on the fishing industry, potential problems up the Mississippi River, potential for the oil slick to float around Florida and head up the East Coast, and how oil prices will rise in the United States.  Time will tell just how accurate these predictions are.  Let’s all continue to pray for the best.

Even at this early stage, there are some lessons we can draw from this world event that might direct our thoughts and actions as we continue to focus our mental and emotional energy upon it.  What follows are some of my personal random and preliminary thoughts on a positive response that each of us individually might consider (and humanity collectively) as it relates to this tragedy.  My intention is to be positive, not political.  I would love your thoughts.

Potential Lessons:

  • Immediately, our attention should be on stopping the leak, protecting the environment, and protecting people and their economic livelihood.  Let’s focus our energies on positive actions and not on blame.  Be aware of and turn away from any news coverage that spends excessive time focusing on such negative activity.  Yes, let’s hold BP accountable financially for the cleanup, but beyond that beware of any news organization whose focus is turning this into a political issue.  Watch out for friends who want to engage you in conversation that turns this into political or corporation bashing.  Turn away from the negative and towards the desired positive.
  • The reality is humanity needs energy to live and thrive.  Historians have pointed out that as humanity and its social systems have evolved, the energy requirements to maintain one person has grown.  We needed less energy when we were hunters and gatherers than we did when we moved into an agrarian society.  As we moved to cities and evolved through the industrial age into the information age, our energy needs per person have continued to increase.  Energy needs around the world continue to rise.  Recently, the Obama administration announced its energy plans for the upcoming future.  It’s mixture of focusing on green technology while expanding offshore drilling appeared to please no one.  Environment groups were disappointed over the expansion of extracting oil offshore while the “drill baby drill” group were disappointed that certain areas were kept off limits.  I found it ironic at the time that Obama’s efforts to utilize all available energy sources and balance the desires at each end of the energy political spectrum met such resistance.  The attempts to please everyone, appeared to please no one.  What’s my point here?  One, humanity needs energy and an ever-growing rate.  Two, we need to let go of our extreme differences (and our emotional anger when things aren’t exactly what we want) and come together to find practical solutions that meet our energy needs, our environmental needs and our economic needs.  Turn away from arguing and towards solutions.
  • The recent announcement of the expansion of offshore drilling included references to how much more safely this can be done now.  I was pleased that the President announced an intention to revisit that expansion in light of the current crisis.  No matter where we fall individually on the issue of offshore drilling, we should all agree that learning safety lessons from the current oil spill is essential.  Should this event mean that we immediately eliminate any expansion of offshore oil drilling?  If you immediately stated an unqualified “yes” or “no”, then there is a good chance you are so locked in your political opinion on the issue that you are not open to a potentially higher possibility.  I’ll be honest, I tend to lean towards the “no drilling group”.  My desire is to see us move towards a higher use of renewable energy that has lower environmental risks.  Yet I understand the difficulties in moving immediately away from oil in the short-term.  I do believe in the long-term we need to wean ourselves off of oil.  What I’m asking you to consider, no matter what your political opinion, is to see that our revisiting the safety of offshore drilling is an important step, yet we still need to consider all potential energy sources.  What is ultimately most important, is that each of us individually move off of any polarizing political opinion and move towards an openness that seeks solutions for our highest good.
  • Once again, we can see from these events how everything is interrelated.  We need energy, companies provide oil.  Oil spills, harming the environment.  People’s jobs and the economy are impacted.  Energy prices go up, prices of other goods and services go up.  Animals are harmed leading to a loss of species important ecological balance of life.  We watch the news and form opinions and have emotional reactions.  I could go on and on.  One important lesson to take from all of this is that we are all connected, events like this impact us all no matter where we are, we are all in this together.
  • Finally, let’s each individually be open to ways in which we can support those who are impacted by this disaster.  As the events unfold and we learn as to the extent fishermen and others may be economically impacted, how wildlife may be harmed and so on, let each of us be open to giving of our time, our talents and our money as necessary to reach out in support those in need. 

What positive lessons have you learned from this event?

Mark

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Categories Culture, Featured Article, Politics, Uniting U.S.

Thomas Friedman and Building Bridges

April 8, 2010 //
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 A couple of days ago, New York Times columnist Thomas Friedman and author of many best sellers such as “Hot Flat And Crowded“, wrote an opinion piece entitled  “Who’s Up for Building Bridges?”  I briefly commented on it on my Facebook and Twitter accounts, but felt compelled to give it a little more attention today.  You might want to click the link and read the article.

I generally enjoy reading Friedman and appreciate the fact that he tends to focus on the future and offer suggestions on how to improve it.  Since my intention on this website is in “bridging us” to a positive future, I appreciate Freeman’s efforts and obviously resonate with his article’s title.

The gist of Friedman’s piece is that the Republicans and the Democrats have put the book ends on policies they began last century… the Republicans with George W. Bush completing the policy of tax cuts and deregulation started under Reagan… the Democrats with Obama, completing with the recent health care legislation the New Deal entitlements started under Roosevelt … and he adds that neither direction is serving us as we move further into the 21st century.  He goes on to suggest that Obama at least has a plan and is moving us forward into the new global economy while the Republicans are following a “just say no policy”.

You may or may not agree with Friedman’s points, his politics or his economics.  I’m not here to debate any of that, but rather to call attention to what I see as the most important point of his opinion piece.  Where is our attention focused? And I ask you to consider in your response to reading him–where is your attention focused?

Ultimately Friedman is calling us to focus on the future.  What is the plan and what are the steps to take our country into the highest vision of our future?

No doubt many who read Friedman’s article will be stuck in the past and miss the point.  Some Republicans and Democrats may disagree with his categorization of their party’s policies. Some people may focus solely on his categorization of the tea party as being unfair or inaccurate.  Some people may focus on certain “economic experts”  and their opinions as a reason to dismiss Friedman.

If you fall into any of these camps, then I strongly urge you to suspend your judgment for a moment and consider the following…the world and America are facing some of its greatest challenges — the economy, the wars, the national debt, climate change, growing world population with its increasing demands on limited resources and more.  Sometimes these challenges seem overwhelming.  Yet I am optimistic we can solve them.

But…we are at a crossroads.  We have a choice to make. 

One path focuses on the past and our differences.  It seeks for one group to win and get its way even if others lose.  It spends its energy arguing over who is right and who is wrong. Sometimes it appears the people on this path would rather we all lose than to give in on their position.

The other path focuses on our future and our similarities.  It seeks solutions where everyone can win.  It focuses its energy in the direction we need to go.

I have written here numerous times about this choice point.  The challenges we currently face call for us to transcend our past and our differences.  Yes, let us learn from the past, but let us not live there.  All of us, no matter what our political persuasion, religious beliefs, or other human labels we place upon ourselves, must rise up above these apparent differences and focus our attention and energy on that which we hold in common — our humanity.

We are called in this moment to expand our horizons… to raise our eyes to the highest possibilities for America and the world… to use our consciousness and our actions to move us to a positive future — one that works for everyone.

Where is your attention focused?

Mark

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Categories Bridge Building, Culture, Entertainment, Featured Article, Politics, Uniting U.S.

Coffee Party Movement: Civility on the Rise

March 30, 2010 //
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Coffee Party Movement

I have frequently written here about the need to bring civility back to our political discourse.  A few weeks ago, my essay was requesting that we all write our congressional representatives to ask them to work towards changing the nature of our political interactions to one that seeks solutions and honors everyone (See How Can We Bring Our Political Leaders Together to Solve Our Problems?).

I did write all 3 of my congressional reps with the text I offered us all to use.  Interestingly, I have received 2 replies….of those, one was a form letter that based on its content told me that he (or his staffer) did not read my note or if they did, they did not have a “stock” reply to requests asking Congress to “play nicely”.  Maybe if more of us asked them to do so, they could whip out a standard reply that talks about how they are reaching out and trying to break down partisan barriers!  The other reply I received showed me that they did take the time to read my note and he actually gave me a thoughtful reply.   I think I stumped my third representative!

Recently, some individuals who are obviously as bothered by the nature of the political discussion have started a group called the “Coffee Party Movement”.  The name was in response to the Tea Party folks…..the group had its genesis on Facebook.  Here is their mission statement:

  •  The Coffee Party Movement gives voice to Americans who want to see cooperation in government. We recognize that the federal government is not the enemy of the people, but the expression of our collective will, and that we must participate in the democratic process in order to address the challenges that we face as Americans. As voters and grassroots volunteers, we will support leaders who work toward positive solutions, and hold accountable those who obstruct them.

They have received a fair amount of media play, which is a good thing!  I would suggest that you check them out and if they resinate with you, to became a fan on Facebook or sign up on their web page.  They also have a petition for which you can sign on.  Here is their web site:

Coffee Party Movement Website

Whatever we can do to get Washington to work on solutions to problems and move us to treating everyone with dignity and respect is moving us to a positive future.

Mark

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Categories Bridge Building, Culture, Politics, Uniting U.S.

Your Opinion of the Health Care Bill-Coming from Love or Fear?

March 22, 2010 //
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What is the emotion behind your belief?

The healthcare bill continues to be big news having passed the House and now heading into reconciliation with the Senate.  Seems like everybody I talk to, most people I read on the Internet, and just about every TV commentator, all have some opinion about the legislation.  I suspect you do too.

I’m not going to debate the merits of the bill the House passed.  I’m sure most of us would agree, it’s not perfect.  Of course, I’m sure that each of us would also have our own idea of what the “perfect” bill might be.  But let’s be honest, all legislation that works its way through our process of checks and balances would have a hard time meeting that standard.

What I want ask you is this — setting aside specifics of the bill and whether you’re in favor of it or not, what is the underlying emotion that drives your opinion?

Love or Fear?

Now, I suspect I know what you might be thinking… you may be thinking “emotions have nothing to do with this… my opinion of this legislation is based on fact, logic and reason”.  I agree that we all have specific logical reasons that we can point at as the justification for our position.  What I want us to consider is that behind our rational thought is an underlying emotion that serves to direct our conscious belief.

What is that emotion?  You might come up with lots of words for it… happy, disgust, relief, anger, etc. It is my opinion that we could take all these emotions and plot them on a continuum with fear on one end and love on the other.  I recognize that you might not immediately agree, but I’m asking you to consider for a moment that underlying all our opinions on the healthcare bill are the two emotions of either love and fear.

The other night on television I saw a clip of some protesters of the healthcare bill shouting at a person with Parkinson’s disease who was there in favor of the legislation.  The display of anger (screaming, throwing dollar bills at him, etc.) directed at this fellow human being simply because he held a different opinion shocked me.  I sat there wondering what could lead a person to be so disrespectful towards another person simply for holding a different political belief?  Of course, I’m not naïve, I know this goes on all the time… I’ve written about this level of disrespect before… about radio and TV commentators who seem to stir up angry confrontation.  Yet still I wondered, what drives people to such rude behavior.  Then it struck me — these protesters were afraid.

How We Look at Life

Now I recognize that I am about to oversimplify this, but for the sake of brevity and posing the question about our underlying emotion, I want us to consider that there are two general ways that we look out at life and other people.

In the first way, we see ourselves as this distinct individual who has needs to meet.  We look out at the world and see limited resources available to meet those needs.  We see other people who are separate from us and in competition with us for those limited resources.  Therefore we are fearful that if we don’t grab what’s “ours”, others will grab it.  Our basic motivation is fear.

In the second way, we see ourselves as individuals who are part of a greater whole.  Yes, we have needs that need to be met.  But we also see our interconnectedness to other people and recognize they have needs as well.  Our level of care and concern has expanded beyond ourselves.  We want to meet our needs, but not in such a competitive way that we win and others lose.  Our basic motivation is love.

Which way do you look at life?  You may see a little bit of yourself in both descriptions.  Which one is prominent in your thinking?  Which one is important for humanity’s continued survival and further evolution?  I hope you agree that ultimately humanity needs to be acting more out of love.

What Would Love Do?

This is always a good question to ask when faced with a dilemma, so it seems like the proper question to ask as we consider our opinion on the healthcare issue.

We could take all of the pros and all the cons and all our concerns and all our questions about the bill Congress is considering and weigh them all against the question “what would love do?”

As I have considered it, the motivation of love would move us beyond the fear that we would lose while others win.  Love would pull us to finding a solution that allows everyone to have access to affordable health care.  Love would take us outside of any selfish concerns (don’t raise my taxes, don’t mess with my healthcare, my political party needs to win, my opinion needs to prevail, etc.) and move us to solutions that work for everyone.

So as the debate continues and you find yourself discussing healthcare with others, I am suggesting that you stop and ask yourself “how would love respond in this moment?” That is, how can you honor people and their variety of opinions in this moment?  How can you shift the social discourse from negativity and fear towards the direction of what’s best for everyone?  What suggestion can you offer that comes from the heart of love?

In this moment and every moment, the choice is yours: are you choosing fear or are you choosing love?

Mark

PS in case you’re interested, recently I have written a couple of other articles about the healthcare bill.  In one, “Heathcare Deals and Our Greatest Ideals” I expressed my concern over how Congress was making certain deals which I felt were not in our collective best interest in order to get enough votes to pass the bill.  In another, “Killing Time with President Obama” I pointed out, how I felt that the effort made by President Obama to reach across the aisle and move us beyond this overly partisan environment in which we are mired was worth the time and effort even though it caused a delay in the passage of the legislation.

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Categories Culture, Politics, Uniting U.S.

How Can We Agree on Our Future When We Can’t Even Agree on Our Past?

March 18, 2010 //
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What's past is prologue...

Recently, the Texas State Board of Education voted to implement changes to Texas school textbooks.  These controversial changes appear to implement a bias towards a conservative right leaning view of history.  These changes included a greater emphasis on the conservative resurgence of recent years, reducing the scope of coverage on Latino history and culture, limiting certain references to Thomas Jefferson in the founding of our country, and more.  Due to the number of books Texas buys, there are concerns that these decisions will cascade into the books available for other states.

These changes have set off a debate regarding what exactly is history, who gets to decide what our history actually is?  This debate is not new… I’ve heard it said before, that the winners (meaning whoever holds power) get to define history.  As power changes hands, the presented history generally gets rewritten.

One History?

It’s easy to believe that there is only “one history.”  After all, a review of the past with objective eyes should tend to see the same history.  The issue, of course, is the difficulty we all have in being completely objective.  No matter how objective we think we really are, we have cultural, and worldview biases, which creep in and cover the lens by which we see life.

Personally I don’t agree with the changes the Texas State Board of Education is making.  But I’m also not so naïve to believe that the existing textbooks were not created without another set of biases affecting them.  Whenever a book is written or class content is being assembled, some decisions are made.  Those decisions, always represent the worldview of the people who are deciding.

So on and on it goes, back and forth, rewriting and rewriting history, tweaking it towards what we’d like to emphasize.  Will we ever agree on one objective history?

One Future?

I frequently call for us to consider the highest possibilities for our future.  But what does that really mean?  I know what it means to me.  Yet it might mean something different to you.

If we can’t agree on our past, if our past is constantly being modified by the worldview of those in power, but how can we ever agree on what’s best for our future?  The human truth is that we may never get consensus on what our highest future should be.  There might be some general concepts on which most of us could agree, then we would have differences of opinion on how to best move forward towards implementing those concepts.

For example, we might all agree that a positive future is one where all people have access to clean drinking water.  But beyond that agreement, I suspect we might disagree on the best way to create that reality.

The variety of human beliefs and human worldviews appears to be a reality that will always be part of our world.  Truth be told, I’m not sure many of us would want to live in a world where we all thought alike.  If we all thought the same thing, it would be like a closed system with no influx of new life and energy.  Like the Dead Sea, the world would become very stagnant.  The variety of ideas ensures newness and growth.

Yet even if we never can agree totally on what the best idea for our collective future really is, I still believe holding conversations around that future and setting intentions towards it are an important task for humanity.

Tomorrow — I want to look at one vision statement for that highest possible future, the global heart vision statement for the Centers for Spiritual Living.  We will review it and ask ourselves to consider what it really means.  To the degree it gives us a blueprint for a positive future, we will come back to Chip Heath and Dan Heath’s book “Switch” to see what suggestions it offers us in moving towards that future.

To be continued…

Mark

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Categories Culture, Politics, Spirituality, Uniting U.S.

Two Strategies for Dealing with He Who Shall Not Be Named (that media person who angers you)

March 13, 2010 //
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Turn off negativity, turn towards what's best for all

 

It seems like this past week that a lot of complaints have come across social media sites I frequent about divisive comments made by certain individuals who for whatever reason hold a media platform.  Friends are sharing YouTube videos via Facebook, blogging and tweaking their disgust over the commentary of certain radio and TV personalities. 

I’m not naming these people for two reasons.  One, my intent here is not to get into any political debate.  No matter what your political beliefs, you probably can find some media spokesperson, who in your opinion makes divisive comments.  Two, I don’t want to give these people any more attention or energy.  In my opinion, they’ve already gotten way too much. 

Now I understand why these people are protesting.  I’ve written here many times about my concerns over any individual in the media, who uses their bully pulpit as a forum for dividing us.  However, a lot of these people are putting way too much energy into pushing back.  So here’s my advice for all of us to consider. 

Strategy One: Notice, but Ignore 

Here, I admit, you walk a fine line.  I do believe we have to be well informed as to what is going on in the world but we don’t need to immerse ourselves in negativity.  It’s one thing to be aware of the negative comments made by individuals in the media and quite another thing to get into a battle with them.  To be aware, allows us to know that this individual’s comments are not truly serving humanity, that they are less than what we desire.  To battle against them, continues to direct energy towards their negative message, serving to highlight it and perpetuate it.  As it’s often said, “what you resist, persists.” 

I certainly understand the desire to inform your like-minded friends by passing on your tweets of disgust when he who shall not be named makes his crazy comments.  But I invite you to consider that when you forward that negative comment about the individual’s rantings, you continue to give energy to his message and grow it in our collective consciousness. 

What should you do?  It’s okay to notice their negativity when it comes into your field of awareness.  It’s okay to disagree.  It’s okay to say to yourself, that his comments are not serving our positive growth, nor serving to bring us together.  Then, let it go.  Ignore he who shall not be named any further.  In the Harry Potter novels, most people were afraid to utter the name Lord Voldemort out of fear that using his name would bring the dark lord’s attention to them.  Here we avoid using the name, not out of fear, but out of conscious awareness.  We know that by ignoring him and his negative message, we reduce the conscious flow of energy to it, limiting its growth.  If enough of us turn away from media negativity, then the media will become less negative. 

Strategy Two: Focus Your Attention on What You Want to Grow 

After the media spokesperson has upset you, you now know what you don’t want.  Armed with that knowledge, consider what you do want.  Define it clearly in your mind.  Then, any anger that you had towards he who shall not be named, should be directed as positive energy in the direction of that you want to grow. 

Turn away from that which does not serve us and towards that which does.  I know that this is “simple”, but not necessarily “easy”.  Notice that these two strategies are designed to change you, not the other person.  After all, the only person you have control over is yourself.  

If you get successful at noticing then ignoring he who shall not be named, and then directing your energy towards what you want to grow in life, then you may want to move on to the following advanced strategy.  Kids, don’t try this at home.  This is only for those who have mastered the first two strategies! 

Advanced Strategy: Separate the Person from their Actions 

People who upset us are generally some of our best teachers.  Whether they know it or not, they are offering us an opportunity to grow.  When someone does something that challenges us, what we need to realize is that at the core of their being they are a spiritual person just as we are.  We don’t need to condone the other person’s behavior, but we do need to look beyond their behavior and see the truth of who they are.  Just like us, before birth they were pure spirit, eternal beings connected to everything and everyone.  Just like us, they were born on the planet and forgot who they really were.  They now have created, just as we have, a story about who they are and what they believe about life.  Their story, just like ours, is not really real… it is an illusion.  Our challenge is to see the person as they really are, to separate their truth from their story, their behavior, their illusion.  When we can do this, it brings forgiveness into our hearts, and puts us one further step on the path of our spiritual evolution. 

Mark

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Categories Consciousness, Culture, Entertainment, Politics, Uniting U.S.

Killing Time with President Obama

March 8, 2010 //
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Does anybody really know what time it is?

Today we look at President Obama’s first year in office, the debate over reaching across the aisle, the chiding I took from a children’s book and the metaphysical meaning of time.  Sometimes I like to go in strange directions.

Chiding from a Children’s Book

We all have these weird moments that stay with us all of our lives.  One of those moments for me was when I was in college.  I liked to frequent this small, eclectic bookstore in the “hippie area” of town.  It was run by this old man with a long gray beard named Gene, who somehow in my youthful mind, represented wisdom.

One day, as I entered the store and looked around, Gene asked me if I needed any help.  I replied,  “No thanks, I’m just killing time.”

Gene looked at me over his glasses and in a booming voice said, “Killing time?  Isn’t it bad enough that we waste it?  Must we kill it too?”

I must’ve looked a little sheepish, because the bookkeeper went on to explain that he was quoting a line from a children’s book.  That moment and that quote have always stayed with me.  It led me into pondering the meaning of time, and how we use language in relation to time.  Can we really “kill time”?  Is there really anything such as “wasting time?  What really is time?  Or as Chicago said, “does anybody really know what time it is?”

President Obama’s Efforts to Reach Out

Last night I was watching some political pundits on television discussing Obama’s first year in office.  They were expressing concern over his inability to push through any healthcare legislation.  After all, they said he came into office with a mandate for change, the Democrats controlled both houses of Congress as well as the presidency…why didn’t he just propose legislation and get it passed?

Much has been written in the media about the reasons that Obama did not take this tack. Reasons include the wide variety of opinions on the bill within the Democratic Party and the difficulty in getting them all on the same page.  In addition, there has been a lot of coverage also about the need for the Democrats to have a super majority of 60 votes in the Senate in order to get a bill through.  Yet in spite of these apparent roadblocks facing the president, most pundits seem to believe that the Democrats could have crafted a bill that would have met muster within their own party, worked around the filibuster in the Senate and passed some kind of legislation.

Those I saw on television last night made this point and went on to say that the president lost a lot of political capital by not getting the health care bill passed.  There seemed to be a consensus that he “wasted” a whole year of his presidency.

It was felt that the reason he didn’t take this approach is because he tried to reach out across the aisle to the Republicans, as well as to all of the healthcare stakeholders to bring them on board with any legislation.  The commentators acknowledged that Obama came into office with the desire to change partisan politics “as normal” as exhibited by creating his “team of rivals” on his cabinet, much like Lincoln had done.  Yes, Obama had tried to get consensus, but in the 2020 hindsight  that political announcers often exhibit, they agreed he had wasted time.  In their opinion, the president was now realizing that he was never going to get a consensus and he needed to move forward now without it.  Their attitude was like “duh, he should’ve known that from the start.”

So did the president really “waste” a year?

Metaphysical Time

One could write a whole book on this subject of the meaning and experience of time (in fact, many have).  I just want to outline a couple of key concepts from my current understanding about how we look at time that I believe are pertinent here.

First, much is written about “the power of now” or “the eternal now.”  Metaphysically speaking, there is only this current moment with the future and the past being constructs of the mind.  Hence we are encouraged to live in the present moment, letting go of our concern over what may have happened in the past and any worries about what might happen in the future.  We are told it is our thoughts and actions right now that create our life and that all of life is happening in this present moment.

Yet, what about this stream of time in which we appear to be immersed?  If there is only the present moment, why do we have memories of the past or concern herself with plans for the future?  Why do we have this sense of time marching on?  Mystics and spiritual teachers have offered that the purpose of time (as well as the sense of space) is a divine illusion that was created in order for us to experience a sense of separation, a sense of free will choice, and all other third dimensional life experiences.  If the Unity of the One did not create the appearance of the multiplicity of time and space, then we would not have the playground for our life experiences.

Time and space give Spirit, through its incarnations in each of us, the ability to live our lives, make choices, learn, grow and evolve.  Seen from the spiritual level, time is a gift given to us that allows us to stretch out this one true moment so that we can experience the infinite variety of life.  Ultimately as we have this experience we are called in our choices and actions to move in the direction so that we return to Spirit….that is, we ultimately will remember our Source.  Free will allows us to veer from away from our return, but some force within us generally moves us back to Oneness.  This evolutionary force tends to direct us to higher degrees of both complexity and cooperation.   Seen from this perspective, there is no way we can “waste time” or” kill time.”  Such ideas come from a human sense that there is a limited amount of time, that a clock is ticking and we need to get busy right now.  The reality is we have all the time we need to experience the fullness of life and make our journey home.

At the human level, the desire to be efficient and effective in our use of time can be beneficial.  Yet like most things in the physical world, we can get seduced by them.  We can get so wrapped up in our sense of human time, that we forget about the vastness of spiritual time.  When we can step above our human view of time and see things from a spiritual perspective, we can see that what at the human level appears to be wasting time or killing time is really a time when deeper things are happening.

Most of us have had the experience in our life where we appeared to be stuck and going nowhere… at least that’s how it felt at the time… but it’s only later in life when we have distanced ourselves by the passage of time and the shifting of our perspective that we can see how we truly were growing.  We may have felt like we were killing time while in fact, we were going through a necessary step in our unfoldment.  The caterpillar must “waste time” in its cocoon, before it can blossom to the butterfly.  The seed appears to be wasting time as it readies itself to burst open.

Planting Seeds in the  Political Process

So did the president really “waste” a year?

Seen from the human level with a desire to put in place healthcare legislation immediately, one might believe, as the television pundits did, that time and political capital was “wasted”.  There certainly is a part of me that feels it is a moral imperative that our country provide healthcare for everyone now.  Every day we delay, more people suffer.

But there’s another way we can look at this.  Our country is facing another moral dilemma.  This is one of the excessive divisiveness and overly partisan behavior that has kept Congress from addressing major issues facing our country.  In my opinion, this is the greatest challenge facing our leadership right now.  Healthcare is one of many issues which Congress and the president need to face.  If they don’t rise up above partisan behavior on healthcare, how can we expect any real solutions on our financial crisis, global warming, overpopulation, wars around the world, or any of the seemingly overwhelming matters facing the planet?

Yes, I wish that Obama’s efforts to bring people together in a bipartisan manner would’ve lead to meaningful healthcare legislation.  But I continue to be an optimist.  I believe that in spite of the lack of our leadership coming together on this issue now, seeds were planted.  It may appear to our human eyes, that nothing is happening.  However, I believe the effort and the dialogue has served a useful purpose.  More people are beginning to look at our leadership and seek to hold them accountable for solving all of our problems, not just healthcare, in a manner that transcends partisan politics.

I trust that as we look back on this time, after we have distanced ourselves from it by the passage of time and the shifting of our perspective, that we will realize that seeds have been planted that will one day burst open and reveal our new expression.  Humanity, through the process of evolution,  is being called to a higher level of cooperation.  From that higher perspective we will realize that there is no true wasting or killing time.  There is really only our human experience of time as we unfold into the highest possibilities of who we can be as a people on our return back to Oneness.

Mark

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Categories Culture, Politics, Uniting U.S.
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