So you are looking to bring more love into your life? Below are 25 tips on how to do just that, all coming from a deep spiritual perspective. However, I do want you to know that this compilation of “tips” was created in connection with a talk given at the Center for Spiritual Living Denver on September 24, 2023 entitled “Why and How to Be a Loving Person!”
In that talk, I provide some context on the different ways that we spiritual beings experience love, why love is important to our spiritual evolution, why our spiritual nature calls us to be a loving person and how we can increase our ability to love. I would invite you to take a few minutes to view that talk online HERE.
The limited time of the talk precluded sharing all of these ideas which in and of themselves can be useful. So let’s get to them.
Tip 1: Change your perspective on love. It’s not simply something that “happens to you”, you can consciously choose to bring more love into your life.
You are not a victim to the whims of love; you are a creator of love in your life and the world. Know in your heart and mind that you can manifest love in your life. Affirm that each day.
Tip 2: Recognize that love is more than a human emotion; it is a divine energy flowing through you all the time.
Love serves to connect you to others. Love is an evolutionary force that breaks down your sense of separation from “life out there” and calls you to remember that you are one with everything. Love is calling you home to your source in Oneness. Take time periodically to feel into your heart and know that your life calls you to love.
Tip 3: Know that you are worthy of giving and receiving love.
You were born with a perfect wholeness but many of us forget that truth. We allow life events to convince us that we are not worthy of love and that no one wants our love. We can unlearn that false belief and reclaim our truth. Take steps to uncover any beliefs that tell you are unworthy and replace them with new beliefs that you are whole, perfect and complete and worthy of giving and receiving love.
Tip 4: Know that every other person is worthy of giving and receiving love.
Just as you were born perfect, so was everyone else. They were subject to forgetting their truth just as you were. Keep that in mind whenever their actions are less than loving. Keep your heart open to seeing the good in everyone else.
Tip 5: Treat others as you wish to be treated.
Don’t you want to be treated with love? Then remember the golden rule and treat others in a loving way.
Tip 6: When challenged to be loving to another person, remember that if you had lived their life and had all their experiences, you may believe and act just as they do. Have compassion.
In difficult interactions, try to take the perspective of the other. Imagine being them and having “walked in their shoes”. That doesn’t mean you have to agree with them of their actions. You can make a distinction between the person and the way they are behaving.
Tip 7: Remember that you can love someone and still have a healthy boundary in regards to their actions.
There is a difference between the spiritual perfection of a person and their human actions and behaviors they exhibit in the material world. You can always choose not to have someone “be with you” in the world while you love them in your heart from afar. Bless others, even the ones that may be the most challenging to you.
Tip 8: Don’t try to force others to love you, simply be a loving person and allow others the freedom to be themselves.
If we show up “as love” in our lives, giving love whenever we can, that is going to attract love into your life. Release any attachment to how that love shows up. It doesn’t have to manifest as coming from a specific person in a specific way.
Tip 9: Set an intention each day to bring more love to the world. Visualize yourself as a beneficial presence on the planet.
Know that you can be a spiritual change agent simply by how you show up. What kind of world do you want to live in? Assuming that is one with more kindness and love, then you take action in your sphere of influence to be kind and loving.
Tip 10: Live with a gratitude for life and its gifts.
Take time each day to expression appreciation for the gift of your life and all that is good in it. Don’t focus on the negative. Deal with the challenges of life as appropriate but then keep your attention on all the good that you do have. What we give energy to in our lives is what we grow in our experiences.
Tip 11: Learn from any life challenges and set intentions to implement that learning into your life.
You are not a static person whose knowledge and beliefs are set. If you keep repeating the old patterns and actions over and over, you are going to continue to attract the same experiences. This is true in your “love life” as well. If you have had rough relationships, think about what brought them into your life and change those thoughts and actions. Set an intention to heal the old beliefs and then act on those new beliefs.
Tip 12: If a loving relationship ends, don’t cling to the other person, allow them the freedom to move on.
Again, you can love a person without their being physically in your life. Bless them and love them and desire the best for them but “set them free” from being physically in your life. Sometimes the most loving action is to release someone from your life.
Tip 13: If your emotions are driving your behaviors with another person, create some time and space before reacting.
We all can get angry. Sometimes life events quickly spiral out of control so quickly that we act before we think and can say or do things that we regret. Learn to recognize when your emotions are getting “the best of you” and develop a strategy for removing yourself from the situation. Take a few breathes. Walk away. Tell the other person you need to take a few moments. Develop a way to create a gap of time before you “react” so that you can consciously choose your response.
Tip 14: Off and on, stop and ask yourself “what is the most loving response in this situation?”
Another question is “what would love do?” See every interaction, especially the challenging ones, as an opportunity for love to be more greatly expressed in some way.
Tip 15: See your relationship with another person as an entity separate from each of you but encompassing both of you. Always consider what is best for this “third” party.
When two people come together as friends and especially in a loving romantic relationship, there is the emergence of something new and different. This “thing” has a force in and of itself. It is the embodiment of the relationship of the two people. Consider it a living and breathing thing in and of itself if it’s helpful. There is you, there is the other person and then there is this third thing that transcends the two of you but includes you both. It needs care and feeding.
Tip 16: Take care of the loving relationships you already have.
Sometimes we are looking for love “out there” and forget the loving relationships we already have. Take stock of the important loving relationships you already have in your life and consider what they need to stay strong…then take action.
Tip 17: Practice listening to your heart. Ask your higher self what is being called into your life at this time.
Sometimes we live in our heads too much. Take time each day to sit in silence and feel into your heart. Allow yourself to imagine your heart has a message of love for you. Listen to that message and “take it to heart”. Guidance for what’s next for you can come from many sources, but open to them all.
Tip 18: Remember that you are a spiritual being having a human experience. See love as a force-energy guiding you to towards your spiritual magnificence. Love is guiding your evolution.
Visualize love as directing your life towards the highest and greatest good for yourself and your creation of your highest world. See love as serving to connect you to others.
Tip 19: Remember that sometimes the best response is no response.
Turning away from a confrontation may be the most loving response. Always ask yourself, “is it really important that I respond here?” If it’s not, then silently bless the experience and the other person and move on.
Tip 20: Approach kindness as your religion.
Taking the idea from the Dalia Lama, what would it be like if your major spiritual approach to interacting with others was to come from the heart of kindness? What would that look like? Smiling more? Saying “please”and “thank you”? Opening doors? Saying “hello”? Take a few moments and visualize back over each day and say, how could I have been more kind today?
Tip 21: Avoid sharing negative materials in social media. Spread love online.
Before you share something on Facebook or other social media platforms, ask yourself if it is bringing more love to the world? Is so share it. Is it bringing harm to anyone? Then don’t.
Tip 22: Say “yes” to loving friendship opportunities.
You say you want more friends and then someone asks to connect with you. What are you going to do? Maybe it challenges your comfort zone a bit to do what they are asking but get over it. Don’t make up excuses. When life opens doors for you, say “yes” and walk in.
Tip 23: Remember that “loving yourself” is not about being egotistical or narcissistic. Loving yourself is about knowing that you are already whole and perfect. Be humble in knowing that.
Your spiritual self was born perfect. Don’t take that idea and bend it into making yourself better than others. Instead see yourself as no better than anyone else nor inferior to anyone else. Seeing yourself as superior or inferior only serves to separate you from others.
Tip 24: Develop a spiritual practice that connects you with the greater Oneness of the universe. Practice frequently.
What’s this got to do with love? Again, love is a force that serves to connect us. The more we move into that enlightened perspective of knowing that Spirit, God, the All is in all and guiding all, the more we open our hearts to truly being the love that is in our hearts.
Tip 25: Share your loving experiences with others.
We are all in this human experience together. We are all learning and growing and evolving in our awareness, remembering our interconnectedness and our true state of Oneness. The more that each of us moves to that enlightened state, the more the world expresses that sense of love. If you have learned something to bring more love into your life, share it with your fellow spiritual travelers so that they may benefit from your wisdom. Discuss your successes with others and let them know how you did it.
You can start on that last item by letting me know which of these tips you found useful and what other ones have you tried that worked for you? Drop me a note or a comment and let me know how you are bringing more love to your life.
Love and blessings,
Ps. The topic discussed here has a lot of “internet cousins”. There are many blogs and articles offering guidance on creating love in your life. If my thoughts didn’t resonate with you or you are still hungry for more suggestions, do an internet search on something like “how to get more love in your life”.